From one Stepmom to one Birthmom

From one stepmom to the birth mom. This is a letter of appreciation for accepting me and allowing me to part of the family.

With so many stories out there on the internet putting one mom against another, I think it’s time to celebrate and be thankful for kids birth moms.  It is hard to be a stepmom, but I think it’s time to step out of my little world and give credit where credit is due.

Dear Mom,

First of all, I hope to never be in your shoes. I am so scared that one day my birth kids will have a stepparent, and I will have to be in your shoes. I am sure that you never wished or planned to have a stepparent help raise your children either.  I do not naively assume to know how you feel, but I can only speak as a stepmom and a short time birth mom.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for giving birth to such amazing kids. You helped bring into this world two amazing children that will one day accomplish wonderful things.  I adore every bit of them.  Their smiles light up any room, and I just love their joy of life.  I truly miss them when they are gone, and look forward to their return.

I can’t even imagine having another woman raise the kids that I gave birth to.  You have not only allowed me to help raise your kids but have embraced me in their lives.  I love knowing that I am part of an extended family and am thankful that your family has allowed me in.

Thank you for helping to create a cohesive family life between both homes.  I never worry or second guess myself when it comes to raising our kids because I know us as moms can talk through anything.  You are gracious about adapting your schedule when we need help and we do the same.  It’s such a wonderful feeling that both homes are warm, fun and safe spaces.

I have never experienced the feeling of having another woman raise my children, and I know it isn’t always easy.  I may not do everything the same way, but hope I don’t disappoint you with the decisions that I make for your (our) kids.

Thank you for allowing me to help raise them, mold them and turn them into the great people that they are becoming right in front of our eyes.  Although I am sure we do not agree on everything, you have made me a better stepmom and mom through your open communication and your faith in me.

This letter is not meant to be any form of kissing up, even though it kind of sounds like it is. This is meant to give the credit and respect to the birth moms that it often not given.  Although it is tough to be a stepmom, it may be even tougher to be the birth mom.  Thank you again for the faith, love and respect that you have given to me.

I thank God everyday that I have married into such a loving extended family.

Thank you.


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